Walgreens

The days of this week were outrageously surreal. So many people I saw in public seemed to be off their rockers! Throughout each and every day, there was at least one time (usually multiple times a day) when I would at least mutter to myself, “WTF? Are ya kiddin me?”

The other day, my partner and I stopped at a nearby Walgreen. As I waited in the car doing my favorite past time (watching people), my partner went inside to take care of business. I noticed one particular woman as she pulled into the handicapped spot near me. She was talking on her cell phone with one hand, and smoking a cigarette with the other hand. All I could think was “what the hell is she steering the car with??” Of course, she continues blah-blah-blahing on her phone while she just sits there flicking her ashes out the window. She finally finished up her conversation, folded up her little flip phone, stuck her handicapped sign on her rearview mirror, and got out of the car.

Now, as all this is going on, I’m thinking to myself that she was probably in some sort of terrible car accident – most likely from smoking and talking on the phone while driving with her knees, her thighs, or some other netherly-regioned part of her body. It was a horrible accident I’m sure, leaving her unable to walk, thus needing crutches, or a walker, or even a cane. I imagined this poor woman was in so much pain that she would not be able to walk any distance by herself, or without assistance.

Instead, she throws open her car door, stepped out of the car on two good feet, flicked her butt out into the parking lot, then walked into the store faster than I walk.

WTF? Are ya kiddin me??

She was in and out of that place with a shopping cart full of bags faster than my partner was (and he was just getting a single loaf of bread)! Seriously. If you’re moving faster than I move, you don’t need to be parking in a handicapped space. Seriously.

As my partner gets in the car, he starts telling me about a woman he experienced in the store. She was standing in line with her teenage son, bitching and moaning about the price of a 2 litre bottle of soda. It was just too much. Granted, it’s not going to be 99 cents – but then again, it’s WALGREENS! Why would you bother stopping at Walgreens for groceries – and then not expect to spend top dollar for the convenience?

But then he felt bad, thinking perhaps she and her son were nearly out of money. He imagined them driving their dented, rusted, beat-up 1983 Honda Civic with two different colored front doors and a tailpipe tied on with a piece of twine. He imagined them driving as far as they were able before that piece of crap died, heaving its last exhaust fumes in the parking lot outside Walgreens. He imagined that they were trying to get soda, their only form of sustenance they could afford for that day, but the car just couldn’t make it the rest of the 3 blocks to the Acme.

As the woman continued her torrential complaining about how expensive the soda was, my partner followed them out to see them walk right over to their car – a brand-spankin-new white Lexus.

WTF? Are ya kiddin me??

Seriously. If you’re driving around in a brand new Lexis, you can afford to pay $2.99 for a 2 litre bottle of soda. Seriously. Stop complaining and get on with life, and find something else worth complaining about – like unemployment, the economy, and the price of milk in Puerto Rico.

But then again, it’s just a day in the life of the Curious Bloke.

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