I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about the terrible accident with the cruise ship off Italy’s coast. It’s very sad that so many lives were lost because of this. It’s probably one of the main reasons you’ll never see me on a cruise anywhere. Maybe it’s because I don’t trust the people in charge. Maybe it’s because it’s just entirely unhealthy to have that many people living in such close quarters without anywhere to go except for in each other’s faces. Before this tragedy, my initial reason for never wanting to go on a cruise was because every time you turned around, they were reporting that yet another cruise ship in the Caribbean, in the Atlantic, in the Pacific, in the Indian Ocean, in the Baltic, or wherever was inundated by some bacterial illness that had almost everyone on board puking for the remainder of the trip. Or someone fell overboard (or was pushed?) in the night and was never seen again.

Doesn’t that just make for a great ad campaign? “Cruise with us, puke over the rails, and throw someone overboard that you don’t want to be found, and have a time you’ll never forget!”

Truly a Kodak moment.

But then this unbelievable needless tragedy unfolds before us. I say needless – especially – because they never should have been that close to shore. Supposedly, the captain took the vessel that close to shore because, according to sources, he wanted to “show off” and salute a friend on shore. Just imagine how impressed his friend was when he ran the ship aground and tore a 160-foot gash in its side.

But did the captain stay with the ship as it was going down to ensure that everyone got off safely? They keep comparing the Costa Concordia with the Titanic, yet I seem to remember hearing the stories of the captain going down with the Titanic (quite literally). The captain of the Costa Concordia had other things on his mind – first and foremost to get off the ship as fast as he could!

First he claims he was thrown from the side of the ship into the waters when the ship suddenly listed. Then he claimed he tried to get back onboard. Then in another report, he was supposedly dining with a woman and calling down to the kitchen for more food and wine shortly after they ran aground. Then the recordings came out between him and the officer on land telling him to “Get back on board, [expletive]!” (I have heard from those who speak Italian and heard the recording that the expletive used was not “son of a bitch,” as was commonly translated, but “cock-sucker.”)

So now, the latest story from this captain is none of the above. Instead, he slipped and fell into a lifeboat.

Slipped and fell into a lifeboat? Really? And that’s the reason why you abandoned ship? You slipped and fell into a lifeboat? That’s almost as bad as the excuse used by the guy who was accused of getting a woman pregnant.

“Honestly! It’s not my fault! I just slipped and fell … into her vagina … repeatedly!

I really think life would be a lot easier on this guy if he just admitted what he did and faced the facts. It’s not a laughing matter because the death toll rises daily, and innocent people’s lives were sacrificed for his stupidity. Perhaps it would have been better for him to have gotten back onboard when he realized his mistake.

But then again, there’s no accounting for continued supidity.