Weather Conversation

Okay. Here’s the scenario: You step into an elevator, and there is only one other person in it whom you don’t know. On the seemingly extended ride to your floor, he strikes up a conversation to pass the time. And what is the topic of that conversation?

Awful lot of rain we’re gettin’, idn’t it?

Really? That’s the best you got?

For the most part, after ‘hello,’ I’m usually out of things to say. So what is our fascination with the weather when we don’t know what to say? I’ll admit, it’s happened to me many times. And, even worse, as the words are coming out of my mouth, in my head I’m screaming at myself, “You stupid git! Why are you talking about the weather?

There’s got to be something else we can talk about. There’s got to be some other topic of conversation we can begin that doesn’t sound like we should be drooling while talking. Skip the religion, sports, and politics ideas – save those for people you know really, really well (unless, of course, you have this deep-seated need to argue with someone you’d never met before or barely know outside of a nod ‘hello’).

But then again, maybe talking about the weather is a good ice-breaker to get to know someone (even if you don’t expect to be best buddies). I mean, it’s not like you’re really obsessed with talking about the weather – it just sounds that way.

So, do you think it’s going to storm later? I heard them talking about it this morning and they were saying that there might be a chance of scattered storms. Did you see any? Because the forecast might have changed since this morning … No, I didn’t see that. But I heard this weekend is supposed to be a total wash-out… Yeah, so much for going to the beach. I always prefer when it’s nice and warm and sunny when I go to the beach.

For crying out loud, where the hell can you go with a conversation like that? It spews despiration from the very first word! And only a master craftsman of the rhetoric could wind and wend his way around to something useful – like finding out what their favorite color is. So let’s take a stab at it:

… Yeah, so much for going to the beach. I always prefer when it’s nice and warm and sunny when I go to the beach. I like it when the water is warm, too – like down at the Florida beaches where the water is a nice blue color – which is my favorite color. Is it yours? No? Oh! Well, what’s your favorite color?

There! I think we’ve finally gotten away from weather and have now posed the question to find out what their favorite color might be (and hoping to get an answer that doesn’t begin and end with, “Why don’t you just bugger off!“).

I know this is probably the stupidest thing you ever read. And it’s probably one of the stupidest things I’ve ever written. But then again, so are most conversations that start with the weather. Why not try something different that will totally catch someone off guard?

Do I have a booger showing?