Small Car

Well, as you can guess from my previous posts, there was a little (*Ahem*) “accident” with the new car. Through a mis-judgment of the spacial vortex that is known as a Getty Mart parking lot, as I rounded the corner of the gas pumps, a metal pole sprang up out of nowhere and attacked the rear passenger door. (Very) Long story short, we had to drop the new car off at the collision center for repairs to the tune of a very expensive fix.


But what made it even worse was the fact that we now have to use a rental car to get around while it’s being fixed – all of which is cosmetic. Whoda thunk that a scrape and slight dent 2 feet long would cost $1,700? You can barely see it when we’re driving down the road at 70 miles per hour! But there you have it. It’s taking a week to repair, and we just have to suck it up and deal with it (New normal!!).

But this is also another first for me. (Queue the violin music, please.)

In the past, whenever I would have to rent a car because mine was being worked on (or we wanted to look good), I would always end up getting a car that was better than my last car. And when I would drive that new rental (which was usually a new car), it would smell like new, it would drive like new, and it would feel like new. It would make me think of my own car and say, “Blech!

When Hubby and I bought the new car this year, we wanted something large. I’m a large person. At 6’1″ tall (and very handsome, I might add…) I always ended up stuffing myself into a car I could conveniently afford, with my knees behind my ears. As I got older (to the rip age of 29… shut up!) and I bought my first full-sized car, I was happy that I could have room in the front seat. But God forbid I (or anyone, for that matter) should have to ride in the back seat, once again, I’d have to suck it up and tuck my knees behind my ears!

For once – just once! – I wanted to have a car large enough that I could be comfortable driving, AND ride in the back seat without putting my knees behind my ears. That was our main objective in buying the new car (That, and a really loud horn that, when pressed, didn’t say “…psst … psst … psst …”). We wanted a horn that said, “GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY WAY YOU MORON!!!” (For some reason, American car makers’ horns do just that!) And that’s exactly what we got!

So, when we had to turn our baby in to be worked on for a week, we were able to rent a car from Enterprise (where we normally get our rentals). Even though we got a full-sized car, we now feel like we’re wrapped in a metal cigar tube and sitting on the road! In another time when we had less of a car, we would have been excited with this full sized Kia Optima with all the bells and whistles. But unfortunately, those “bells and whistles” were more like “tinkles and winkles.”  No longer are we getting into an SUV crossover that sits high off the road; now we’re sitting in a car that feels more like a calamity. No longer are we “stepping up” into a car we love driving; we’re “sitting down” in a car that feels more like Mr. Bean’s car, looking up under the skirts of every Subaru! And the other day, when driving home from work for the first day with the rental, a Buick Enclave passed me (which looked just like our baby), and I felt like I was staring up at its navel!

And on top of that, I’m ashamed to hit the horn. If the rental car was a person, it would be a nerd with a plastic pocket protector named Eggbert Dippleswitch with horn-rimmed, black plastic glasses with masking tape holding them together over the nose that speaks in a nasally voice like Jerry Lewis’ nutty professor, saying “Hey Lady! Oy!” Not quite the message we want to convey.


Lesson learned: Be wary of Getty poles that spring up out of nowhere!