There’s been this unspoken war between me and Hubby about who works harder and does the most, both between work and the household. As every other married couple, ever since we’ve been together (it’s over 10 years now), the distribution of “what needs to be done” is well-disbursed between us. Someone takes care of the finances and balances the books, another does the cooking, another takes care of the doglettes, another does the dishes, another does the laundry, etc., etc. We fall into these different roles depending on who excels the best in that role, and that’s just the way it goes. There really is no one time at the beginning of a relationship that the two sit down with paper and pen and outline who is responsible for what job. You just take it up as you see fit (the one who does it best, or has always done the job, does it), and as time rolls on, the camps are outlined and life goes on.

But sometimes, when we get tired or cranky (I certainly never get cranky…) we have a tendency to feel that we’re carrying the weight. And complaints start to surface: “How comes I’m always the one that does (fill in the blank)?”

Quite frankly, it’s because you’re the one who does it best.

But on occasion, in every relationship, the question rises of who is the one who works harder – be it with a combination of one’s job and the household chores, or the one who does the most chores, or the one who makes all the arrangements, or does the laundry, etc.

I’m reminded of the episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” where Debra gets tired of doing the laundry all the time because Raymond never folds the clothes correctly. She later finds out that Raymond purposely folds the cloths wrong because he doesn’t like doing it, and acts like he’s got a hand full of thumbs.

This is why when it comes to making rice, Hubby has to do it (because I just don’t do it right), or because Hubby does the laundry (because I don’t use the right amounts of fabric softener in the proper ratio of detergent). Hubby walks the dogs because I cook the dinners while he walks them so we don’t eat dinner at 10:00 at night (or because he thinks 3-1/4 cup of something means three 1/4 cups of it). But for the past 10+ years we’ve been doing very well with the distribution of chores.

But for the past couple of months, there has been some complaining about who works harder – who does more work than the other in combination of job and house. Hubby wanted me to start walking the doglettes more, but that’s not possible for me considering we’d end up eating much later than normal.

So I gave him the challenge…

Knowing that I need to walk more, I challenged him to cooking while I walk the doglettes. This was a fun experiment.

For the week, Hubby was responsible for doing the eMeals recipes (this is a great subscription at where they plan the entire week’s worth of meals for you with recipes and shopping list included and they’re incredibly delicious!!) which we only do 3 or 4 of them per week, while I walked the doglettes for 30 minutes.

On this particular night, the challenge came to a head…

I took the doglettes for their walk as normal, while Hubby took the time to measure out everything in preparation for the meal. I only selected the “Super Fast” meals (which should take no more than 30 minutes to prepare). With the knowlege that if the meal fails, we’ll just throw it out and order a pizza, I came home to a ball of frustration. The measurements weren’t right, he needed help with shredding the chicken, etc.

Finally, I said to him, “Fine. Let’s just put it all away and forget about it.” While he did the dishes, I made chicken salad with the shredded chicken (tex-mex style, with sour cream, cilantro, salsa, salt/pepper, mayo, celery, and cheese), and we made sandwiches.

Curious Bloke: (with a twinkle in his eye) I really do a lot around here, don’t I?
Hubby: Bitch!

Ah… married life! 


I just had to offer this update to the post (which I actually wrote a week before it posted). Just the other night, Hubby made dinner while I walked the doglettes (on an extra, extra long walk, I might add; so I wouldn’t be home during the measuring and prepping…). Shortly after I returned home, Hubby had everything under control, measured out, and ready to cook – and created a fabulous meal! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you the Pan-Seared Salmon with Citrus Sauce, and Sauteed Shaved Brussels Sprouts – a meal that was ready in about 30 minutes! He was so excited, he had to take this picture of it.