Thinker

I occasionally have these random thoughts. Rather than letting them die a lonely death, I decided to write them down until I had enough of them to post here. These are the ideas that I thought, “Gee, I should post a blog about that,” but then realize it’s either too stupid or short (or both) to create an entire blog posting for, so I save them in BlogPad Pro (my all-time favorite app for blogging!) until I have enough of them saved to torture you with them. So, as you read, you may be thinking, “Perhaps some of them should have died that lonely death….”

This is my forth installment of “Random Thoughts.” So enjoy… or not.

One-Liners

Those who know me, know that (like my father) I’m a walking trove of useless information (other people call it trivia). This information, at times, has the habbit of popping out of my mouth – and usually totally unsolicited. The other week, Hubby and I visited Longwood Gardens with our friends Paco and Julio, enjoying the beautiful late-summer weather, strolling around the gorgous flowers. As we walked among the formal gardens admiring everything, Paco admired the banana plants that were also growing among the flowers. That’s when it popped out.

Curious Bloke: You know, Banana trees really aren’t trees at all. They’re actually a grass.
<Long pause of silence>
Hubby: Somebody needs attention…

Grammar Police

I have a pet peeve. Actually, I seem to have many pet peeves, which you’d know if you’re a regular reader of this blog. But ths one in particular is when people mispronounce words (especially when it’s people in the news media). One major example lately: meteorologists (weather people) who pronounce the really cold area at the poles of the planet as ARDIC. “We’re gonna feel that ARDIC blast this weekend…” “…followed by that ARDIC air mass…”

Really, people? It’s ARCTIC!

These are probably the same peope who say LIE-berry instead of Library, NOOK-yoo-ler instead of Nuclear, PROL-ly instead of Probably, and EX-PRESS-oh instead of Espresso!

Christmas Gifts

Where did we come up with the idea of buying Christmas gifts months in advance and then saving them until the 25th of December? Can you actually do that and not lose track of it? I did it one time many years ago, and totally forgot all about it and ended up buying something else for them right before Christmas. But in another thought, If you buy something for someone, why would you save it for months before giving it to them? I mean, I can see if maybe it’s a young bottle of wine that needs to age, or something like that; but let’s face it: Most people are not buying young wines as gifts that magically age to perfection in three to six months. Glasses, sweaters, games, pashminas, earrings … these things don’t need aging. And between the time you buy it, and the time you set mark on the calendar to give it (whether a couple of months, or even an entire year later), anything could happen. The world could come to an end; or one of us could get hit by a bus.

The next time you catch yourself perusing kitschy things in a store while you’re on your beach vacation in May, thinking, “This would really be a nice gift for Curious Bloke for Christmas,” save yourself from this madness. If you see something that you just have to get for someone, then by all means wrap it up in pretty Christmas paper and give it to them – and do it the next time you see them without waiting till Christmas!

The Grunts that are Football

Now, I’m not a huge football fan (Anerican Football, that is), but occasionally I will watch the games and will watch the news broadcasts about sports during the football season. But the one thing that I’ve always noticed is the incredible cockiness of American Football players. I don’t care which team it is, they all equally seem extremely cocky. Whenever anyone makes a touchdown, they prance and dance like they just saved a human life (or freed a country from communism!). It’s as if what they did was worthy if a Nobel Prize. (They even practice their “signature” touchdown moves!) It’s not even a sport that challenges the player’s abilities to do something. For the most part, they’re standing around waiting for a referee to tell them something, or staring at a ball, or waiting for another down. Rarely are they spending active time playing the game – much unlike soccer (European Football) where for 45 minutes they’re literally running the entire time, moving a ball around the field without ever touching it with their hands (for the most part).

I’m reminded of George Carlin’s description of the differences between Baseball (said nasally and with a lisp) and Football (said with bravado and grunting). No doubt, football is the more brutal of the sports; but that doesn’t make it the most challenging of abilities (like baseball, soccer, or ballet, where one needs to be coordinated in some way or another). Yet look at how much we pay football players over any other sport? You’d think it wasn’t the players getting kicked in the head, but the people who are paying them those salaries!

And then when a team loses one of the “big games,” they’re seen on the interviews with a tear in their eye and a catch in their throat, saying, “This meant a lot to us; and even thought we didn’t make it, I’m so proud of our team…”

Really? Really?! And you’re still going to get your multi-million dollar salary whether you win or lose? Try getting a real job where your salary depends not only on your ability to do something, but the ability to produce a result! Try living off a teacher’s salary!

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