Elevator
Yeah, that’s right! I spelled “ignorant” I-G-N-A-N-T because they’re so IGNANT they can’t even spell “ignorant!”

That said, how many time have you walked toward an open elevator with someone standing inside (and looking right at you, I might add), while the door shuts in your face right at the last minute? And not only does the door practically slam the tip of your nose off, but the person inside is just standing there – staring at you – and not even pretending to prevent the doors from closing on you?

Now, maybe I’m just being sensitive, but to me that unconscionable action is the epitome of STUPID. I can’t even really say “ignant” because at least someone who’s “ignant” doesn’t know what they’re doing is wrong… they just don’t know. But when they’re looking right at you, door closing between you, and everything moving in slow motion:

The Curious Bloke sees the doors beginning to close. He cries out “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” as he drops his briefcase and lunch bag and dives for the closing doors in hopes of stopping them before they close. The elevator doors move ever so slowly as they grind to a close; the Curious Bloke flies through the air, arcing ever so slightly as he leaves the ground with one vision in sight: the woman on the elevator staring back, hands at her side, a slight smile forming on her lips slowly blooming into a devilish grin…. But it’s too late. The doors arrive at a closed position as the Curious Bloke completes his elegant arc over the distance of the lobby only to end up face-first into the closed doors of the elevator… the soft sound of a mean-spirited snicker from the other side…

Have we grown into such a stupid, simpleminded, idiotic, half-witted, moronic, puerile, thick-headed society that we can’t take a few moments to even pretend to care about each other? I’d have even felt better had she slowly reached out her arm toward the elevator doors and in monotone voice intoned, “oh-I’m-sorry-I-can’t-reach-the-doors-or-the-button-to-stop-the-elevator-from-closing…” Can we please quit the mean-spirited “all I care about is me” attitude and remember that we’re not the only ones living on the planet?

No wonder the news is filled with violence day in and day out. Perhaps if we stopped elevators from shutting on each other’s faces, we’d be a step closer to peace. If nothing more, at least I won’t be late for work…

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